Saturday, March 6, 2010

Let’s Be Real

I just realized that in my last post I was giving “just the facts”, but I have to be real for a moment and share how devastated I was to find out about my son’s trouble at school. My son has tried so hard to keep his illness a secret at school. And as parents, we’ve felt blessed that his mood disorder wasn’t causing problems there. In fact, just weeks prior, we celebrated with pride his student award for being kind to others.

I’ve talked to other moms, with mood disorder children, sharing their stories of how the school contacted them on a regular basis for discipline problems. It wasn’t uncommon to hear that it started as early as preschool. So I realize how lucky we have been to be “worry free” when it came to my son’s education. But when I got the call from the principal saying that my son was in his office for writing a letter telling another child to “die”, my heart sank.

I was sad for my son and I was sad for the innocent child that received the letter. And honestly I was sad, feeling once again the reminder of how complicated my son’s life will be with a mood disorder. This isn’t an easy fix. This is a long journey, with lots of lows. I was reminded that my son’s life may be filled with poor decisions from impulses brought on by his illness. But as I explained to him that day. “We will always love you, even when you make mistakes, but we won’t be able to protect you from life’s consequences.”

And since I’m being real, I can say that I felt jealousy that day towards other parents. Watching them with their kids, free from the black cloud of a mental illness.

2 comments:

  1. I used to feel like that too, jealous of other parents.
    watchin family members children behave and be stressed at the thought of a celebration or get together. how would i cope with the behaviour.
    like when they went food shopping. watchin their children listening. whilst my child wouldnt keep still running down the isles getting lost. throwing tantrums, swinging on the trolly, people giving me dirty looks. i honestly thought i was a failure.
    wonderin wha family life must b like without all behaviour problems.
    watchin the disgusted looks on neighbours faces afta a meltdown with all the swearing and screamin on her behalf.
    goin 2 work with a shiner of a blackeye. parents looking twice at me
    i thought it was my fault mayb i didnt discipline enough, were my bonding skills not right or my social skills poor.it was hittin my confidence to rock bottom
    i went to family discipline/bonding programmes, which i refered myself lol!
    i am qualified to work in childcare.i am a very calm patient person. thankfully
    my statement is "no1 will ever know or be able to comment on what they would do i unless they have been through the highs and lows of bi polar"
    sumtimes ur livin on eggshells....

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous- You share some pretty heavy stuff that i think most parents in our situation can relate to. We are always walking on eggshells, even when the child is stable, because you are waiting for them to melt down again.

    ReplyDelete