Friday, June 4, 2010

Crossing Our Fingers

Today was the last day of school. So far, so good. My son seems to be thriving with his new medication. He even went on a field trip to a bowling alley, without me (which was a first). In the past, this environment would bring on anxiety from all the loud noises and crowds. To help him along, we came up with a back-up plan for me to pick him up if he couldn’t handle it. I was thrilled to see that not only did he handle it, but he had fun—yeah!!!!

But today marks another phase we’re entering into. We’re going to try and remove one of his medications, Tenex. This is the first medication we tried when he started medication, but since we’ve seen such great success with his mood stabilizer, Trileptal (a more powerful med), his doctor feels he may not need the Tenex anymore.

I’m hesitant since the last time we tried removing Tenex he became very impulsive and wrote a letter telling a kid at school to “die now”. That didn’t go over too well. So we immediately put him back on the Tenex. But then things really got bad, so it became apparent that it was the Seroquel that was causing all the problems. So here we are again, taking the Tenex away, starting by reducing his pills by a 1/2 pill a week.

Oh, I really hate this. This whole “experimental” phase. I wish science had this all figured out, the doctors would be able to take a blood test or do a brain scan and determine what’s wrong with my son. Then they could prescribe the exact med and right dose, oh... if only it were that easy.

But then I realize that we’re lucky to be where we are now, if you consider how society handled mood disorders years ago. If we’d lived back then, would my precious son be taken from my home and living out his days in a psych ward? His illness so misunderstood. Would they try shocking his brain? Or assume he’s possessed and try to drive out the demons? Can you imagine that? It makes me sick to think of that.

But those thoughts don’t make today any easier, especially since we’re in the zone! My son is doing so great, I’m loving “loving” my son. I don’t want anything to mess this up. Even my 7 year old is apprehensive about reducing his brother’s meds. He said today... “We’re reducing his pills? Oh no, that’s bad news for me, since he takes his anger out on ME!”

So I’m crossing my fingers and down on my knees praying to God that this phase goes good, I don’t want to lose my son again to this illness, for he was once lost but now he’s found.


  1. A good shrink listens very carefully to the Mom. No reason to change something that is working.

  2. Fingers are a crossed! I was on Trileptal for a long time and it worked decent for me. We tried my son on it though and it did nothing. So now that I am on Lamictal (which works wonders!) the doctor wants to try him on that. SOOOO we are taking him off ALL his other meds, transitioning to the Lamictal and adding Prozak.

    I am SO with you on the med changes. I'm just hoping this time it works!

  3. I know what you mean. I am SO needing my son to be found. Mine is very lost right now and I so much want him back. So much that it hurts. I can't wait for the day I can say he is found.

  4. Meg--I’m so sorry you and your family are hurting so much. My heart goes out to you. I’m sorry the Depakote didn't work fast and well enough. I know this must be an awful time for you, I’ll be praying for you and Rye. I pray you find your son soon.

  5. I wish you all good luck! I know your hesitant, just think how great it could be if it does work. He won't be taking as much medication. If it doesn't work you all will know right away then maybe he can restart the medication and go back to this wonderful phase. Good luck!