Monday, August 30, 2010

Rough Day

Today, my son’s anger escalated beyond control when trying to get him into a timeout. During his rage, he threw a toy at my face, busting the lens out of my eyeglasses and hurting me pretty bad inside and out.

This was the closest we’ve come to calling the police for assistance.

The neurologist called to say that we were denied a brain scan because our psychiatrist said it wasn’t necessary since she has him listed in her files as having Temper Dysregulation Disorder. It’s funny she has this listed in her file since she hasn’t communicated this to us and the diagnosis isn’t even official since it’s still under review with the American Psychiatric Association until it’s released in 2013. If you haven’t heard of this label before, this is the diagnosis they hope to use on kids who previously may have been labeled as bipolar. As our psychiatrist told me once, this future label will end the controversy on childhood bipolar illness (yeah, right).

I agree that this disorder looks like my son, but it’s only a limited view of him. It doesn’t take into account the voices he hears, the man he saw in our home that wasn’t there, his rapid cycling of sadness, his anxieties... need I go on.

When I explained to the neurologist that our psychiatrist is the last person that should make this decision because she’s already shown us that she isn’t properly informed with our son’s case, he said he would only give us a referral to a qualified person after we shared our feelings with our current psychiatrist because he didn’t want it to look bad. So now, I have to deal with office politics, pay more co-pays to tell a doctor that she isn’t meeting our needs before I’ll even get a decent referral.

In the meantime, I asked the neurologist to schedule us an appointment while we wait to convince our psychiatrist to approve the brain scan. Then I notified our psychiatrist’s office that we need to meet with her asap because we are unhappy with our son’s care. (and I’m bringing Dad as back up)

By the way, I was talking with my cousin who I mentioned in my previous post and it turns out that she was diagnosed with depression 10 years before the diabetes and final tumor diagnosis. This is why I need to make sure my son’s brain scans come out clean before I continue to treat with additional medications.

I still have a headache from the hit to my face and I’m ready to go to bed and end this rough day. As for my son, he asked me to sell him so that our family would be happy with him gone, then asked me to read to him the journal entry of the day he was born, he needed to be reassured that I still loved him.

I do... and I always will.



  1. I'm so sorry that you all had a bad night. Being physically hurt by our children is very tough to deal with. We feel angry that they'd do that to us, yet so overwhelmed that this is what it has come to. Find some peace in knowing you are not alone in dealing with what you are. I understand. It is so hard. I pray that your day (and your family's)is better!

  2. Oh goodness. That's just insane. Can they get any more difficult???

    End controversy over childhood bipolar...hahahaha

  3. Oh, my.

    Ugh. I'm so sorry.

    I hope your face is OK. I can imagine how your heart feels. Bad enough, taking care of our kids, but dealing with the healthcare crap? Gah!

  4. I'm sorry to hear about your day! I hope you are able to fix your glasses and that your headache goes away soon. I can't even imagine how you must have felt to consider calling the police. That must have been scary for you all. How are the other boys doing? Keep pushing for the brain scan. Did you tell his doctor that you have a family member who was misdiagnosed for ten years? Some doctors will give in if you push enough.
    Remember when I told LL to see a neurologist her doctor refused and said all she needed was a big hug. When her doctor was on vacation she saw someone else and they referred her to the neurologist who gave her the diagnosis.
    I hope tomorrow is a better day!
    Love you,

  5. I will be thinking about you guys today! Let me know how the appointment goes. Give your hubby a big hug for me (and give yourself one too). You guys are doing the right thing...keep it up!

    Love your sis, me

  6. Thank you everyone for your support, it really helps me to see all those sending their love through messages and prayer. I know that I'm not alone in this and it helps.

    I leave in a few hours to have a heart-to-heart with our psychiatrist, preparing notes to take with me so I can get the most out of the 30 minutes she could squeeze in today. I'll let you know how it goes.

  7. I hope that you got to the bottom of this with the psychiatrist. You have your son to work with every day. Every day is a fight! Please keep working for a scan to be done. Don't stop there!! When you get the scan please contact The Amen clinc to have it read again.
    I too am sick of these ever changeing lables. My daughter is labled ADHD with mood disorder. I know in my heart of hearts it is bipolar. She is on Adderall and Zoloft. NO IT'S NOT HELPING!

  8. Melissa-

    What's the Amen Clinic? Tell us more about this!

  9. Oh, and in case you haven't read my next post, Yes, we got approval to get an MRI, it's in a few weeks! Pray for good things!


    Pros/cons on both sides of this research. I think they are at least moving in a better direction then some. IMO it seems silly to only dx people on the same symptom clusters of the 1840's.

    Mama Bear, Good luck and Thank you for your blog. You are helping many, with a window into your life. I cry and cheer for you and your family. On these blogs I don't feel so alone in my familys battles.

  11. Thank you Melissa for the encouraging words and thank you for the link, I'll check it out. Have you worked with this clinic before? If so, how did it help you?