There’s one conversation I wanted to share with you (with his permission) that maybe will help you understand what your own child may be feeling.
He shared with me how scared he feels when he goes into a rage. He explained that in his normal state he wouldn’t be strong enough to punch a hole in the wall, but he recognized that in a rage, he could, because he gets super strong. It’s that super strength that scares him. He shared that sometimes he goes into a rage and after it’s all over, he looks around at all the damaged he’s caused and feels frightened by it.
In this fright he runs to his bed and curls up. As my son continued to speak, his eyes teared up, he explained that he becomes overwhelmed with the feeling that someone is going to come into his room and kill him.
Yikes! This is certainly a reason to despise timeouts. On several occasions, I’ve heard his mood shift during a timeout in his room from violent anger to intense anxiety, screaming that he’s scared in his room, that he’s afraid that someone is going to get him. I only wish I had another option for keeping us all safe in a rage. But this explanation helps make sense of his reaction to timeouts.
Another reason for sharing this with you is to help my son. He wanted to know if anyone has experienced this. If you have or your child has, let me know and I’ll share your response with him.
* * *
By the way, my son does not participate on this blog. He just knows that his mom is sharing our life anonymously with other parents on the internet, in order to help him and our family.