Sometimes, he wanted to get away from me, other times he begged for me to hold him. At one point, he began trying to fight back. But this wasn’t like a rage. His movements were lazy, lacking the fire we usually see. He was weak and it was easy to hold him down.
Following an episode of scary screams he began to sudden down. When I asked him what had happened, his demeanor changed as he responded with a half smile “I don’t know”. Then he started to laugh. When I asked him if something was funny, he said “I’m surprised how quickly that went by”. He laughs again and says, “I don’t know, I don’t even remember what that was.” When I explained that he looked at me and screamed, he said “Yeah, I don’t know why, it just happens.” When I asked what it is that he sees, he responds, “Monsters.” Then his whimpering begins again as he looks frightened and tries to cover his eyes as he pulls himself into the fetal position.
Then his mood shifts to sad and he begins to cry.
“I feel too dizzy...”
This is what he would say every time he would try to stand up. The dizziness kept him on the ground for at least 1 1/2 hours. The dizziness became so overwhelming that he actually threw up.
Then as he started to relax, while lying on the floor, he said that he was seeing monsters. When I asked where they were. He said that there was one under the bed that he could see now. When I asked what it looked like, he said, “A white bunny”. He said that it had a pink scarf around it’s neck. When I asked if it was a nice bunny or a scary bunny, he said “scary”. When I asked if it was a cartoon or a fluffy real bunny, he said, “fluffy”. He said that the bunny was growling at him while holding a knife in one hand and it’s cut off ears, covered in blood, in the other.
Being concerned that the meds were making him sick, we had our neighbor who is a nurse come check out his heart rate to make sure it was regular. It was and we just let him relax until he fully recovered. Once he could stand, we gave him a bath. After that, he appeared like a new kid, smiling and joking with us as he ate dinner.
When I asked if he remembered what had happened, he said, “No, I only remember throwing up.”
I wish my concerns ended there, but this morning he called me into his room after his shower. I found him curled up in a towel crying. When I asked what was wrong, he said that he was having scary thoughts. He explained that he was thinking of the time when I accidently dropped a knife and the time when he grabbed a knife when he wanted to die (bad reaction to Seroquel). I then asked if he thought of hurting himself and he said, “Yes, stabbing a knife into my stomach.”
Within a few moments I was able to cheer him up and he was ready to go to school looking happy and excited about being the library helper today.
* * *
Right now, I’m anxiously waiting to hear back from our doctors, I’ve left a ton of messages.
I’m sharing this with you because I’m desperate to find out what may be going wrong with my son. I wonder if his medications are causing all this, or if it’s his illness. His nurse has assured me that it’s not possible for the medications to make this reaction, but she’s not sure what is going on.
So for those who may have walked in these shoes, what can you share with me? What do you think is going on?
After this post, I’m going to continue my search for highly recommended doctors within our HMO, I know this may be a long process, but we need help and we need it now!