Thursday, February 17, 2011

Short on Empathy


Today was a rough day.

It just sucked.

I had to hold my son down.

He destroyed his brother’s handmade craft.

He threw things at his other brother, twice.

He cheated in the games he was playing 
and became violent when the kids didn’t want to play with him anymore.

I cried out loud as I desperately held his door shut during a rage.

And I cried some more after.

Today, I’m short on empathy. 

I feel angry, tired and simply pissed off at his behavior today.

Tonight, he told me he was sorry.

Now... I feel sad.

12 comments:

  1. I can empathize with you. We have days like that a lot. We have feelings like that a lot. It plain old sucks sometimes. Sucks for them, sucks for their siblings, sucks for us. Know you aren't alone in those feelings and that things will get better (them worse, then better, then worse and on and on and on)!

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  2. Oh honey. I am sorry. I can't imagine how draining this is for you...praying for the grace of GOd to lift you in those times you can't lift yourself.

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  3. Sorry your day sucked so bad. I am sad. I hope today is better.

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  4. When I first got into the foster home, I made my foster mom cry a few times and it made me feel really bad. I didn't mean to act the way I was, I couldn't control it and it wore me out.

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  5. Aw, babe, I'm so sorry. Those days just suck the life and hope right out of me. Sending you love.

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  6. Right there with ya, girl! Been a real "life sucks!" type of week here. I have stopped asking what else can go wrong because every time I do, something else does. Hang in there!

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  7. Must be a full moon, because we've had the suckiest week EVER in my house and I totally know where you're coming from. I cried for a 1/2 hour today while I was exercising on the elliptical because I decided I wasn't meant to be a parent, let alone to a kid with mood disorders. When you go through infertility first, it's common to wonder if God wasn't trying to tell you something by not letting you get pregnant. But we can't send him back so I just have to do my best to get through the day, the week, the year. Thank goodness there is chilled wine in my fridge!

    Hang in there!

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  8. Sounds like we all have had a rough week. Thank you all for your support, hopefully next week will be boring.

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  9. Just a thought I had when I saw your recent posts...You mentioned you started giving your son Melatonin and I wanted to share with you a recent experience I had with my son. Because I do not sleep well at all, when I heard that cherry juice has high levels of melatonin, I bought a huge container of cherries and lots of cherry juice. In early January, we were making fruit smoothies with lots of cherry juice and my son (who has the mood disorder) helped me finish off the cherries and also drank lots of cherry juice. I noticed that the cherry juice did help me sleep better during the day, but I remained pretty tired during the day also and that made me feel a little "down." That week coincided with a major depressive episode beginning with my son that resulted in him missing school for a month and having suicidal thoughts for that whole month until we got him stable on Abilify (he had been off meds for awhile until this happened). In my mind, although I have no way of knowing for sure, I couldn't help but wonder if the melatonin from all the cherries had actually been responsible for dysregulating his mood in a very big way. It could have just been a coincidence, but since by your post it looks like you started giving your son melatonin recently, I just wanted to put it out there. I have had another experience with my son where he became manic after taking cough syrup, so I have learned this is another mood-dysregulator. Perhaps others have different experiences, but this was mine. I hope your son has started to feel better!

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  10. I am so sorry! :( I truly understand as we have days like that with Curtis all the time.

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  11. Paige, thanks for the heads up, we'll keep an eye on this!

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  12. I'm right there with ya love. My daughter's behavior seems to have magnified 10fold since my back injury and surgery. I feel so helpless!

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