As we discussed it further I acknowledge that it must be hard to mingle with the other kids so I offered a suggestion of sitting closer to the group so that it would be easier to get included in the activities. His response, as he choked on his words with tears was, “When I sit close to them I feel more sadness because I see all the fun they’re having, so I feel better sitting away from them.”
Ahhh, I get it. He sits at a distance as a defense mechanism. Now it makes since.
I grabbed him in a big hug and held him close, wishing I could magically take away all these struggles. I realized then that he’s been walking around with a brave face, putting up with it all and being strong. Just a day prior, he complained that two girls from a lower grade had approached him and called him a “freak”. At the time, he seemed to be handling it pretty well as he went on to tell me about something fun in his class. But seeing him break apart last night, I realized then that he’s built a strong wall to survive and is doing his best to keep it together.
Today, I’m struggling on how to help him. I can’t see this kind of socializing continuing. How does a kid get through school alone. How do I help him “fit in” and feel more comfortable? My concern is that if it continues, he will become even more isolated and ostracized by his peers.
I really need your help with this one. What should we do?
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Photo provided by:
Candy de la Peñahttp://www.sxc.hu/profile/candygrrrl