Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Sweet Little Moments

The last two days I’ve seen something spectacular. It’s a small thing, yet has the power to move mountains. My son has decided to be nicer to his little brother so they can have a better future together.

Since my youngest was 3 years old, he’s witnessed a lot of violent rages from his older brother. Overtime, this has created an unhealthy dose of anxiety in him. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve seen my little one scream with great fright, while covering his eyes, trying to block out the scary stuff he’s seeing.

As a playmate, he’s also had a lot of moments turn bad when his oldest brother takes charge and becomes unfriendly or has destroyed his personal stuff. As a result, my little one has mastered the art of walking on egg shells and tends to overreact to small stuff since he’s always prepared for the worst to happen.

Just yesterday my oldest was becoming mildly upset when it was time for him to be sunscreened (it’s a sensory issue for him). As he started to raise his voice in objection, my little one screamed, “OH NO!!! I don’t like it when he gets angry!” as he stormed out of the room with fright.

My son seemed to recognize, maybe for the first time, the impact he has on his little brother and decided right then to do something about it. Within 15 minutes, we were at the pool where my oldest took my little one under his wing and for the next hour, poured into him with love and tenderness.

When I mentioned how pleased I was too see him being so kind to his little brother, my son replied, “I want to try real hard to be nice to him so that he won’t be afraid of me anymore and to help give us a better future.”

Melt my heart...

11 comments:

  1. love, love , love it!!!!

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  2. That's so powerful. Thank God for the big guns like lithium. No one can understand why we'd put our child on such a thing unless they've been in our shoes....we need these moments, just like everyone else. I pray this lasts and he can continue to show his little brother what a beautiful soul and heart he has. Vicki B

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  3. Vicki B-I was thinking the same thing, it’s amazing the change we’re seeing. I don't want to get my hopes up too high, but today was remarkable. He even had to come off Ativan from his blood work (which brings out a lot of aggression and mood swings) today, and yet, he is doing great. Several moments where he would typically lose it, and he was able to pull it back together. He even offered to help with the dishes when he saw how I was struggling with his little brother who was throwing a tantrum. Really amazing...

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  4. **Tears**--I pray for the day my bipolar son can do the same thing. But it would be with his big brothers. I am so proud of your son. What an accomplishment. Maybe, just maybe, the Lithium is working?

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  5. This is wonderful news. It is heart warming. (I understand not wanting to get your hopes up--but I do hope that it continues to go well.)

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  6. Keep us posted! You must be so proud of him.

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  7. Oh my MAMA!!! You know we are right there--- we are over a month in and my son is doing GREAT on lithium--- I know EXACTLY to the letter what your are talking about ---the changes. I NEVER in a million years would have dreamed my son would ever, ever be this different!!! My husband and I sat around perplexed as to WHAT it was that was different - and we think that overall he is just HAPPIER - he feels BETTER inside-- in his brain -- which breaks my heart when I think how he must have felt for so long now--- because the changes are not just less agitation, irritability-- he actually is more empathetic - more loving - he wants to help-- he's, and I do not know any other way to say this - he is more NORMAL - he acts more like a child should (like there is a normal, I know,I know) -- he acts more like my daughter, my younger son-- he acts more like he did before his onset which I can pin to a specific event - the death of his dog he had all his life - very quickly she got ill and in 2 weeks we had to put her down, she had stomach cancer. That was the trigger. He's more like my sweet baby at a young age-- when he was 5, 6 and still happy, and sweet and loving -- lithium seems to have brought his true self back.
    Oh, and I never wrote this, you never heard it from me. No more shoes are dropping around here. I will not have it!!! I wrote about this on CABF -- the return of Super Boy. My pdoc says if lithium works, it will continue to work. PRAY, PRAY AND PRAY SOME MORE because Lord knows we all need relief around here. The past few years have been hell for us all. If this keeps up, I will create a dadgum bumper sticker that says I HEART LITHIUM!! Oh pray. I still get terrified when I read my own positive comments... PTSD! I want to spread the word though -- lithium can help. There ***ARE*** kids who ***ARE*** BIPOLAR and LITHIUM helps.

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  8. Oh Mama Bear what a revelation!! Thank the Lord for Lithium being a possible saving grace for him. I can relate to the feeling of walking on eggshells because my home life was turbulent as a child. It is a horrible feeling. So that said I am so excited for both your boys.

    As for a bumper sticker saying I HEART LITHIUM I want one that says I HEART ANTIPSYCHOTICS. Hmmm...it would take some balls to put that on public display.

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  9. My little brothers saw me trash my room once. I was just so upset that I couldn't help it, i was out of control. Casey was trying to comfort Aidan and afterward, I just felt so bad. It's tough being the oldest and knowing they look up to you. Especially the youngest brother, Aidan wants to do everything I do and I know I influence him a lot.

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  10. Heather- I love your comment! I couldn't have said it more perfectly!!

    In The Pink- LOL!

    Hayden- Just know that brothers are very forgiving...

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