It seems to be instinctual for my son. When he can’t take it anymore and he feels he’s lost all control of the moment, he tends to react by threatening to hurt me or damage his brother’s stuff. It seems to be his desperate attempt to regain control. I laugh now, but today he even used his aromatherapy sprays to spray my eyes, something we bought to help him relax became his “weapons”—yes he had more than one bottle in his hands! During this moment I can see a glimmer of happiness on his face as he terrorizes his brothers or hurts me, but it’s fleeting when he realizes that it doesn’t rescue him from his awful feelings inside.
The end result is me holding him on the floor for 30 minutes as he kicks and tries to wrestle away, waiting until he returns to normal. I tried to offer solutions such as taking a shower or leaving the room to decompress, but for him, he seems to desire a fight, if I let go, he immediately rushes to throw something at me or break his brother’s stuff. It’s obvious that his “fight or flight” response is fully activated. Unfortunately for me, there’s more “fight” than “flight”.
Other than meds that are used to prevent these situations, I don’t know what to do when we’re in the moment. The therapy of “practicing going to your room when you’re NOT upset so it become more of an instinct when you are” doesn’t seem to work for my son. And the ironic thing is that, the more stable he is, the more unprepared I am when these situations arise. I really feel at a loss tonight.
Can anyone share how you redirect your child when their instinct is to harm you?