Monday, January 2, 2012

Starting a New Year

There’s something magical about watching the ball drop on New Years Eve, it feels like a fresh start, like the calendar alone can make a shift in our life’s path, giving us a better outcome. This year as I watched the countdown, I was surrounded by sleeping boys, all who were committed to staying up until midnight, but couldn’t fight their sleepy eyes. As I looked around, watching their little bodies resting peacefully, I felt so much appreciation.

When I think about our last year, I can’t help but be grateful. My son has experienced his longest run in stability in over 4 years. We have enjoyed peace in our home and have been able to focus on things outside of our son’s mood disorder.

Even better, our son got to experience being a 10 year old boy.

As for our healthcare, I really grew to appreciate our psychiatrist, I was sad to see him go with our insurance change. He even emailed me this month to let me know that he ran into our new psychiatrist at one of the hospitals and pulled him aside to brief him about my son’s case. In a final email to me, he encouraged us and wished us the best. I felt he truly cared for my son, something we had never experienced in the past.

As the new year begins, we face a lot of changes with all new doctors and a kidney biopsy in the near future. I feel excited to meet our new team, but a little nervous that we’ll face unexpected challenges. The first one hit us last week when we were notified that my husband’s employer forgot to assign us our medical group, so we were assigned to a default group outside our planned care. Which meant that we wouldn’t be able to see the pediatrician, psychiatrist and kidney nephrologist that we had appointments for in January. To say I handled this gracefully is a long stretch, after dropping an “f-bomb” under my breath, I immediately ran up to my office to call the insurance company, thankfully we were able to make the switch into the correct medical group and receive new medical cards just in time.

I’m sure the year ahead will bring many more stress filled moments, but a part of me hopes that as each year passes, I will become wiser and more capable of handling stress. I’m still trying to focus on being present and enjoying the moment, knowing that as puberty approaches, stability may become more difficult for my son. This may be one of our best years yet, and I don’t want to waste it on worry.

And as I watched my son sleeping next to me with the sound of fireworks outside, it became easy to feel optimism for the future, because my son deserves at least that!

Happy New Year my friends! Thank you for being by my side, giving me a place to heal and hope. I wish you and your family the best and hope to hear from you throughout the year ahead.

2012, here we come!!


  1. I for one was glad to kick 2011 out on the curb. It will forever be the year of "mood disorder" diagnosis in our daughter. Incredibly painful and overwhelming for all of us. I look forward to 2012, not necessarily because she might get better with the right meds, but because it is a fresh start for our new "normal". This is not the path I would have chosen for us but we embrace it with determination and joy. I'm sorry you had another health insurance crisis, but I'm glad it seems to be fixed. All my love

  2. Cathy-It sounds like you have a great attitude for the coming year, this will definitely help you get through the tough times! I hope it is a successful year for you and your daughter!

  3. I have hope for 2012. (now if I can derail my son's worry about the Mayan Calendar ending all will be well.)

  4. Heather-Yikes, I never thought about that, I’m glad my kids haven't picked up on the whole Mayan Calendar fear, that could be trouble. How is your family doing?

  5. What a great attitude! Happy new Year!!

  6. Happy New Year, Mama Bear! I wish you and your family much happiness for 2012. One day at a time!