I know... that’s a dumb question.
However, that’s where I am tonight. There was no rage or major issue. It’s the days, hours and minutes all combined sitting on my shoulders. It’s the feeling that the challenges will never end. That my son’s illness is a part of every aspect of our life. Every conversation, every decision and every action.
I feel tired from having the weight of every major decision being followed by yet, another important decision. Then there’s the education required for each step. Having to research medications, doctors, therapists, 504s and IEPs, it feels never ending. Then I must study parenting techniques and nutrition from yet another recommended book. All while charting every behavior and mood. I seriously feel like I could get another college degree at the end of this journey.
When I first started blogging I came across another blogger who goes by the name of “Accidental Expert”. I love that name. We truly become experts in an area we never intended. Unfortunately, the process is exausting and the days end with your child mouthing off at you.
Then there’s the battles I fight. The battle with my son’s moods, the school and the insurance companies. Along with the battles I break up between siblings and playmates. Tired. I feel so tired.
But I have hope, because in the midst of all this, God has the ability to restore my mind and repair my heart. He’s done it many times over and He continues to give me the strength to climb the next mountain. So on nights like this, I hold on tightly to his promises:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28