Monday, July 8, 2013

Suffering from Burnout

I don’t know about you, but summer is really taking it’s toll on me. It didn’t help that we just went through a long heat wave and the kids had to stay inside with the air conditioning. I think I’m reaching summer burnout. I’m tired of breaking up fights, calming tantrums and trying to keep the boys from getting bored and turning on one another. I seriously want to run and hide from them these last few days.

On Thursday I hit my melting point, thankfully we were on our way to therapy for my youngest. Once there I hijacked the session and spent the entire time alone with the therapist crying while the boys fought outside her office door. I explained to her, it’s constant in my house, I’m either calming one child or it’s the other, sometimes they’re both going off at the same time. I feel like my house is a minefield spread with explosives ready to ignite. I am so exhausted!

Her advice to me, “Tell them how you feel. They need to know the impact they’re having on mom and they need to step it up and help take care of mom because you’re going to get sick at the rate you’re going. You are NOT Supermom, so stop trying to be.”

Hmmm... seems like good advice. So we did just that. We sat the boys down at the end of the session and let them know how all their fighting is hurting me. My youngest responded with, “Oh, that’s what you want to talk about, I’m outta here!” Then he stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind him.

Ahh, the little one. He’s been quite a handful lately. He’s become very mouthy and seems miserable most of the time.

Once back home my youngest lost his electronic time since he refused to clean up the toys he played with at the therapist’s office.

What followed was his biggest meltdown ever. He was hitting me and kicking me. I had to hold him down and if I tried to let go, he was attacking me once again. After 20 minutes he was sweaty head-to-toe and ready to back down.

As for me, I’m now hanging on by a thread...

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So how about you, have you reached burnout yet?

7 comments:

  1. I hear you Mama Bear. The lack of structure and routine definitely took its toll on us for the past two weeks. Today, I am luxuriating in every single second of the two and a half hours my son is in summer school and I feel like I could finally breathe. In the late afternoon I have been taking him for swim lessons at our community pool. For some reason, when he is in the water, he is calm and relaxed; a completely different child. I wish we could live in the water the whole summer.

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  2. I'm sorry. One thing to consider is that if your youngest is still on Prozac it could be making him more agitated than he would be naturally. Sometimes those 'upper' meds can take a while to have than effect but when they do...watch out. It might be worth weaning him off for a while in the summer and see if that helps.
    Hugs, Meg

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    1. You know Meg, I was wondering if this anger was the prozac, he just seems worse in a different away. His anxiety is better and he isn't depressed sounding like before, but he is getting worse in other ways. Thanks for the feedback, I need to ask his doctor about this.

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  3. I wanted to comment on this post the first time I read it but all I could think of was to advise you to get on an anxiety med to help you handle all the stress you are under. But now I have reread it and processed better the info given. As for the advice of expressing to your kids the way they make you feel...I agree with that but not to them all at once. That isn't fair. I feel you should address them one on one because each child makes you feel differently at different times. When my niece stresses me out I pull her aside and while softly crying I calmly tell her that her riding her bike to places I cannot see her makes me very sad and it causes me to cry. Talk at their level while holding their hands and looking in their eyes if they are willing to let you. I also think what Meg said is worth looking into. And maybe it is a good idea to request a very low dose of Klonopin .25mg for PRN or when they are in a state of high agitation. It is not healthy for them to get so worked up. I take .5 mg of Klonopin up to 4 times a day as needed and it works miracles for me and I am not feeling any dependence to it. I have been on it for 3 years...I think. Wishing your family all the best!

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  4. Mama Bear:

    I can sure relate to how you feel. I am also at the burnout stage with the boys fighting, arguing, tantrumming, and more. I cried yesterday over it and just couldn't hold it in any longer.

    I am sending my son with BPD to a day camp this week. I have had enough.

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    1. Good for you Shari, I’m glad you found something to improve the situation. I hope you can get a break this week.

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