Monday, November 18, 2013

Having to Hide from My Own Child

Friday I took my oldest son to get his blood drawn to check his Lithium levels to see if it’s still in the therapeutic range. He did really good, we didn’t have to use any of the soothing techniques, all he required was that he could do it lying down so he wouldn’t feel dizzy and pass out. After the blood work, we went to Target to reward him for his bravery with a $5 spending spree. Disappointment quickly set in when he found out he still couldn’t afford the Pokemon cards he wanted. After that, he started to escalate quickly.

Flash forward 10 minutes later, after trying to take him home, we’re running back into the store as my oldest son terrorizes his brothers, who are now screaming and running in fear. As I quickly approached the entrance, I told my two younger boys to run inside as I tried to block their brother.

Yes, people were watching.

As he started to follow me, I looked right at him and told him, “The security at the entrance will call the police if they see you acting violent!”

He retreated.

I immediately went inside and hid from my son.

Yep, I was hiding inside the aisles of Target from my 12 year old son.

It wasn’t so much that I was scared of him, rather, I know that the quickest way to de-escalate him was to be out of his sight.

I was right. After about 10 minutes he found us and was calm and ready to go home.

That evening I cried over the absurdity of it all.

Now I’m praying that the blood work will explain what we’ve been seeing lately and that we can do something about it.


  1. I too hope the blood work is revealing. Hopefully it is a growth issue and he just needs an adjustment. Hugs. But you did the right thing, defuse it.

    1. Thanks Heather. Are you having to adjust meds on your end with your son?

  2. Ugg that is so sad. Get some good rest. It is odd to me how quickly he can switch it when you made him aware that a third party (security) stepping in. At first I thought it was poor impulse control from being young and ill....but it seems like his impulses are able to be controlled by him if he is made aware of the consequences. My brother who is Bipolar would be so abusive to me even if I threatened to tell my parents he would hurt me more. At school he would have outburst to. What I am trying to say that maybe the silver lining is that your son was able to have the blood drawn, then go into a store, and even shop a little. Then he went bonkers and when you told him about the security he was able to reel himself in. I think this is progress. I just recall a time when drawing blood would tap him out for the day. I am sorry you had such a ruff day.

    1. I think your observation is a good one. Sometimes this behavior seems different to me, less like a manic expereince and more like automatic response to stress, I think it has to do with the neuropathwys that were laid down over the years. His brain got use to behaving a certain way when triggered by stress and years later, even though very improved, he still can act out this behavior automatically without giving it any thought. I also agree that he is getting better at controlling impulses as he is getting older and like you said, that is progress!