Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Feeling Anxious

It’s been a while since my last post. Life is getting very busy and free time is rare these days. In a way it’s been nice, as my kids do better, I can focus on new things, like my home business. Lately its been growing and I enjoy getting back into the work I love. But balancing it all is still something I need to work on. I imagine that moms never get this figured out. (If you do, please send instructions ASAP!)

My oldest is doing really great, just a few spats here and there. He still hasn’t raged since we threatened to take his mattress away if he did. Instead, he’s loving the spring weather, everyday after school he goes to a nearby field to build huts and have adventures in the wild. He seems to come back renewed and glowing. Yesterday when he didn’t respond to the walk-e-talkie check I did, I had to go find him. There he was lying in a bed of spring flowers by a pond—asleep! Yes, he was resting and drifted off to sleep. It’s like his soul finds complete peace in the outdoors. I love that about him.

My youngest on the other hand is drifting towards anxiety. His OCD seems to be increasing a little and he seems stressed most of the time. I’m starting to see his breakdowns over changes in schedule and lately he cries a lot about wanting things to be “perfect”. It seems to torment him endlessly. Just the other night he was up well past his bed time stressed about a school costume he was wearing the next day. It didn’t match the storybook character perfectly and he couldn’t let that go. 

Right now we’re reminding him to breathe through his stress. He also takes baths after school to help himself relax. In addition we’re trying to decrease his electronic time, I admit it’s hard with this little guy since he doesn’t find joy in many other things. But we’re working on that too. His middle brother has jumped in to help by getting him outside to throw balls or skateboard. 

I think our next step is getting him back into therapy. We’re considering a new therapist for him. Not because we dislike our current one, but I think we need to look for someone who specializes in kids like him. Not sure what to call it, but someone who can help a child who has Aspergers traits and a heavy dose of anxiety who needs social training skills along with one-on-one therapy. I’m learning that this can be hard to do without the Autism Spectrum diagnosis. Our first attempt failed so I’m back to the drawing board. What’s disappointing is that our pediatrician said that we may need to seek out more assessments just to get the label we need to give him access to the therapy he needs. Of course all out of pocket! This is why labels matter. Having a child that doesn’t fit a label is very challenging. Without it they are denied the care they need.

Sigh... sometimes I feel like I can’t take another battle. 

I am exhausted and burned out.

Am I allowed to say that?


6 comments:

  1. Don't forget to take your moment to fall alseep in a meadow of flowers! You are doing a great job being a mother to your boys, so remember to take care of yourself. Hugs and kisses to all!

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    1. Thanks for the reminder, I need that!

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  2. I have never had to PROVE we have a label. I just listed it as a diagnosis when I fill out intake forms. No one has ever asked me to prove it.

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    1. That's interesting. I’ve had to provide a letter with the diagnosis from the doctor.

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    2. That blows, then. :(

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  3. You've got a lot on your shoulders mama bear so yes, you can say you're exhausted. It doesn't mean you love your family less. but I do agree with Dawnelle, try to find some time to give yourself some tlc.

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