Sunday, April 6, 2014

Praising God

The last time I wrote here I was in a pretty bad place. I was facing a lot of fear regarding the future of my family. We were facing the uncertainty of my husband’s job along with the concern that he had an incurable cancer.

It all started when my husband’s routine blood work came back with markers for a possible blood cancer. As his primary care doctor put it, “I’m concerned about Multiple Myeloma—a cancerous situation.”

Over the past month my husband went through further testing all while we faced the uncertainty about his future employment. This period brought me to my knees to say the least. It felt like my foundation was falling apart, forcing me to lean on my true and only foundation, God.

I prayed through tears, fighting my mind as it imagined the horrible. One day I was so overwhelmed with all we had been through and was angry that we were facing the possibility of so much more that I attacked our kickboxing bag with a vengeance, letting my anger out with intense screams (something I picked up from my boys’ therapy sessions). I have to admit that it felt damn good! The only downfall was the embarrassment I felt when I realized that my neighbor was standing on the side of the house, next to my room and probably heard the entire thing.

I wish I could say that I was strong and was able to put my worries aside, but honestly, I felt like I was holding on for dear life. I was sicker than I’d hoped to be during this period of uncertainty. I think it had been too much stress for too long over the years. In my weakness, I leaned on God.

Then we got the results of another lab test for my husband and our concerns for cancer were heightened. But in God’s faithfulness, we got a call from my husband’s company securing his position the very same day. It was perfect timing, God knew that we were drowning under the weight of it all and He took that concern from us.

Flash forward to the weekend before my husband’s oncologist appointment and our home was filled with dread and anticipation. You could feel the heaviness in the air. Then I got a call from my biggest client telling me that she was quitting her business, thus I’d be losing the work. Follow that with my son’s staph leg infection from the Molluscum Contagious virus he acquired and you end up with my last post “Stop the Pain.”

So tonight I can share that our trip to the oncologist turned out better than expected. After reviewing all the lab results, the doctor was able to determine that my husband did not have cancer. In fact, he’s a pretty healthy guy. It was a false alarm.


Then later that evening I got a call to learn that my former client’s business was being bought out by another person and I would be getting my work back.


So you may be wondering, did I learn anything by going through this expereince?

YES! This experience gave me great perspective. I was able to see first hand how much my family is loved by family and friends. It made me appreciate the simplest things, it clarified the things that I love most. It made me realize how much I depend on my man, how much I need him, how deeply I love him. It also made me realize that I can lose everything in an instant and though I may remain broken in pieces, God is there to help me. He is always by my side.

It also reminded me that even though I’ve been through a lot of challenges over the years, I live a very blessed life.


  1. I have been following your posts since finding your blog. Our daughter is in the process of being diagnosed with a Mood Disorder. Thank you for having the courage to share your journey. At times it feels so isolating. If you would like to share experiences and follow our story, it can be found at Either way, thank you for reminding me that I am not alone.

    1. Thanks for sharing your blog, I added it to my blog list to the right!

  2. Oh my! It's been a while since I've tuned in here. (Things have been going well). Sounds like things have been really scary for you, I'm so glad to hear the outcomes have been good. Hubby and I went through a cancer (possible brain tumor or MS) many years ago when he had lost some hearing (we still don't know why--he recently got hearing aides) So I understand the terror of losing that person who has become your "rock."
    And if anyone deserves blessings it is your family. ((Hugs))

    1. Thanks Heather. My husband is indeed my rock. Over the years we have leaned on each other to get through so many tough times, I am so thankful he is by my side.

  3. Amen and amen! So very thankful for God's tender mercies fon your family :)

  4. So much joy bring praise to God too and be glory to God in singing and I play my piano for thanksgiving mind for our salvation,through Jesus blood in the Holy Spir ts ,thanks and bless,keijo sweden